Reassurance
A desire for reassurance can be expressed in apparently opposite ways:
One can express self-doubt directly: “I’m unsure about what to say.”
One can (paradoxically) assert one’s self: ‘Surely you don’t mean to say ………………………
Of course one could simply be aware of his state and ask for reassurance. This is the riskiest of the three as it leaves open the option to the other to refuse.
The risk is only illusory, however, because a refusal immediately frees one up to seek what one needs somewhere else. Avoiding the risk can paradoxically keep one attached to a dry well.